In praise of white knights

If you’ve ever taken a stroll through the manosphere, hopefully wearing hip waders and goggles, you soon notice the most despised men of all, white knights. It’s a rather perfect closed system, rule #1, never listen to women at all and rule #2, accuse any man showing the least bit of compassion or empathy of white knighting. That’s how you close off both ends of your ideology with that cult like policing that prevents all dissent. Not all, mind you, but enough of them that the message becomes clear, man the torpedoes and shame the white knighters.

It’s really sad to see because the very essence of what it means to be men often involves  honor, a sacrificial nature, the idealism behind what it means to truly protect and serve, the leadership to be found there. Heroes all, and I think you will find shadows of that natural desire in little boys and big boys alike. That is simply biology and psychology at play, and rather than a shameful thing, it is an admirable quality. How can you not love all the men who have sacrificed their very lives for our country, to police our streets, to rescue those trapped in fires?

Than there are the ordinary heroes, those who stop to help you when you are broken down on the side of the road, those who carry groceries for the elderly, those who marry women and sometimes love children that aren’t even theirs. Those who speak gentle words of wisdom and advice, those who teach, those who lead families and serve their communities.

Rather than shameful acts deserving of ridicule and mockery, all those acts of heroism big and small are a beautiful thing, worthy of our respect and honor, our praise. These are the great tales of heroism we used to tell around a campfire, to preserve the legends of those who went before us and to shape the culture to come. Why do so many of us love men? Why, because we realize that they’ll lay down their very lives to protect those they love, their communities, their way of life.

Is is “fair?” No not at all, it’s a rather harsh truth to face, but much of men’s value in the world comes from their very expendability. I don’t like that truth very much, I wish all men to prosper, to live long and fulfilling lives, but it is what it is. It is the world we live in, the circumstances we face. It is both painful and bittersweet to recognize those who have paid the ultimate price to protect us, it leaves you both grieving and yet grateful, sad but keenly aware of the love behind the sacrifice.

Men often white knight women, too, bail us out of all sorts of trouble we manage to get ourselves into. It’s not politically correct to say such things these days, women are all supposed to be strong and independent, needing men like a fish needs a bicycle. It isn’t true however, not really. Don’t get me wrong, women really are strong and able to take care of ourselves, but life is a lot more pleasant with the things men have traditionally provided, plumbers, mechanics, bridges and paved roads. A timely rescue when needed. Women need men rather desperately to survive, not just for their physical skills, but also for their perspective on the world. Men often provide a different set of eyes, another way of seeing things, not always right mind you, but needed and valuable just the same.

In my life I have benefited from hundreds of white knights, all who I remember quite fondly. All together they often make up the oddest collection of strange characters, not quite Prince Charming on his white steed, but far more often some rather flawed and broken men. There was a drunken Santa lying on the pavement once who gave me some great words of wisdom. There was a disabled man with no legs who once told me to “suck it up buttercup,” words I’ve never forgotten because they were so timely. There have been so many who have stopped to help me with car trouble, with life trouble, with attitude trouble. There are men who have bailed me out of circumstances beyond my control and things I have brought down upon my own self.

There are young men right now, often homeless and jobless themselves, who look out for some of the young girls in this town who also roam the streets. I’ve raised four kids here and although they’ve all had a home and parents that loved them, it has been a great comfort to know that even when they are out roaming the streets themselves there have been people looking out for them, mostly young men. White knights that know a mother’s heart.

From a spiritual perspective, this dislike/disgust with white knights concerns me. Christians have the ultimate White Knight to emulate. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son.. Christ laid down His very life for us, not because of who we are, but because of who He is. It was a life of service and sacrifice and He rescued us all. That is true love and honor and sacrifice. That is what it means to be a white knight.

Someone told me the church has been feminized, that Christ has been transformed into a savior that only women would seek. I disagree completely, Christ Himself was the most amazing example of what it truly means to be a man. Christ showed us what strength and leadership is really all about. Today there are millions of men who try to walk in those footsteps, who allow Him to heal, teach, and lead them. It is not an easy walk, one might even say it is the most difficult walk of all, but men have an awesome calling there, a huge responsibility. They have the power to show the world who Christ is and what He is all about.

Recently I said that men need women so they can see their own love reflected in our eyes. But women need men so they can see Christ reflected in your eyes. Men have the power to reflect the very Creator of the universe! In His image….! Indeed, that love had the power to change the world and the entire course of human history. That’s nothing to sneeze at.

Many choose to cling to wounding and pride instead of walking in the victory we have already been given. I empathize, honestly, these are painful and complex issues and the world has been broken and trust is in short supply, but there is an inheritance of victory there just waiting to be claimed.