Church shootings-Domestic Violence

Yep.

I really appreciated this article in Christianity Today,

A Top Reason for Church Shootings: Domestic Abuse

“Year after year, domestic abuse spillover—when a fight at home comes to church—is one of the three most common killers at faith-based organizations.”

Yep. Year after year.

I get so frustrated, year after year, decade after decade, and it’s like no one ever wants to address it. Well, women just lie about abuse. Well, our church doesn’t have a problem. And than another incident  happens and another and it’s like, I don’t know what the world is coming to, this is just a sign of the times, a sign of religious persecution.

No. It is not. This is predictable. This is preventable. This what happens when people put their head in the sand and refuse to address domestic violence and toxic masculinity in our culture because nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, nobody wants to take responsibility, nobody wants to make decent men feel bad, and nobody wants to assign blame.

In defense of Mary Kassian..

Who is Mary Kassian? I don’t really know, I just know she wrote a good blog post differentiating abuse from authority atGirlsGoneWise called, “Does a husband have the authority?” She says, “I believe that the Bible teaches that a husband’s position as head of the home does not give him the right to rule, but rather the responsibility to provide loving oversight. A husband is not imparted with privilege; he is entrusted with obligation—the obligation to love, cherish and shepherd, in emulation of Christ.”

Fabulous! She than proceeds to explain, “Culture upholds authority as the right to rule and lord it over others, but Scripture paints a radically different picture about the true nature of authority.”

That is one of my favorite issues, the way the world defines things (read lies), versus the way God defines things. God often defines things in a way that can feel very backwards, but that is only because we are so used to hanging upside down. So I see authority the way God does and I picture safety, protection, responsibility, power within. The world teaches us authority is about having external power over others, which can very quickly translate into abuse. One of my favorite sayings is,”he who is under authority, has authority.” That is because when you are under authority yourself, your power is internalized. Bullies who rely on power over others are actually weak, insecure, powerless people who must abuse others to feel significant.

So naturally Dalrock, who never met a Christian woman he didn’t want to attack and accuse, nor an abuse he didn’t want to attempt to twist scripture to defend, tries to mock and ridicule Mary Kassian in a post called, Who is she teaching?

Sigh. Dalrock knows perfectly well that the things Mary was declaring are not okay are some pretty obvious signs of abuse. Does a husband have the right to take his wife’s money, car keys, phone, personal possessions and lock her out of the house? Like duh, no, those are all the actions of a bully. That is abuse. That is the behavior of a weak and insecure man with issues around power and control. A bully that makes men look small minded and weak. Men are called to love their wives like Christ loved the church.

Dalrock doesn’t like the Deluth model of domestic violence, the power and control wheel, the continuum of violence. Here’s the deal however, until enough Christian men within the church lead on domestic violence issues, the secular world holds the moral upper hand and will continue to be the far superior approach for those seeking help. I would like to see that change. It won’t change however, until the Dalrockians are purged from our midst.