"Our Sister's Keeper"

So, Tomassi of Irrational Male fame has written a post called, Our Sister’s Keeper.  Yikes. Ai yi yi, where to start, with hip waders and goggles I suppose, and a big shovel so we can cut through all the rhetoric, ideology, and hostility, and try to get to the heart of the matter.

Men are their sister’s keeper. We are our brother’s keeper. Whether in the context of faith or simply in the context of biology, it is what it is, total and complete symbiosis between the two genders. We can all attempt to squirm our way out of that truth, but truth it remains. No man is an island and women, well we give birth to men, and the hand that rocks the cradle in many ways, does rule the world.

Tomassi goes on to say, (of Beta game) “Play nice, respect a woman by default, be supportive of her self-image and ambitions to the sacrifice of your own, don’t judge her and do your utmost to identify with the feminine, was the call to action that, deductively, should make a man more attractive to a woman.”

Oh, the sheer horror! Play nice, respect women, be supportive, sacrifice, what a bunch of chumps men are, huh? The next thing you know women will actually demand men get girl cooties on them or something and when that happens you know she has truly harvested your organs and feasted on your very soul.

In the narcissistic, solipsistic soul of the wounded male ego, it never even occurs to them that women are actually also making sacrifices in the equation. Let me tell you, nothing makes you feel like a “beta chump” faster than finding yourself abandoned after the prime of your youth has faded, left behind with a pack of kids to feed because some wanker has decided he needs to go find himself. Naturally the first place he goes seeking himself….. is in another woman.

In fact if you want to get technical about it, hypergamy is actually the male sexual strategy projected onto women, an attempt to both reject the nature of yourselves and to blame women for it, an attempt to excuse and to justify your own dual sexual strategy. Men want security, families, respect, but they do want to sow their wild oats, too. Have modern women learned how to imitate this male biological strategy? Oh yes! Oh yes, and it is the oddest thing to witness, both tragic and funny at the same time. This is why you have college girls hooking up and the morning after saying “Wait, why am I having casual sex with dudes I don’t even like for reasons I can’t even fathom?? Did I even consent to this? Why, there outta be a law! A consent law! I couldn’t possibly have agreed to this kind of stupid, it’s just all wrong.”

It is just “all wrong” and girls are often aware of this on some level, but when you have grown up in a culture where women’s value is  presented as an exclusively sexual one, where you have been taught your empowerfulness as a female revolves entirely around your sexuality, it is very confusing. Combine this with normal hormones and the male sexual strategy which usually involves trying to storm the castle gates, or climbing over them or under them, or convincing you to open the drawbridge in some way, and you have questionable female agency. It’s a bit like demanding a woman stand tall in the face of a battalion of armed men coming over the hill. She is expected to not only know the nature of her own self, but to know the nature of men too, to understand the cultural deceptions going on in our world, and to stand there unarmed, deflecting all those arrows flying in her direction.

You know what the average age a woman is when she is expected to show this kind of emotional maturity and deep understanding of the nature of the world around her? 13 years old. It’s rather astounding, but while boys are still splashing around in mud puddles and sneaking off to look at dirty pictures in  Nat’l Geographic, 13-year-old girls are trying to navigate the world of so-called sexual agency. They have already encountered those words “slut” and “prude”, “bitch” and “whore.” They have to just learn to pick their poison too, because I assure you which ever persona they chose, it will be the wrong one.

Alas, women are not Batman either, and what you often wind up with is a dead soldier, a bit of collateral damage, full of sexual confusion, trying to make sense of what’s left of the the world around her.

“I’ve always found it fascinating because for all my dealing in cold harsh observable facts I’ve never paused to consider that women might have some excusable reason for their ethically challenged behavior..”

With all due respect, that usually is the position men take when they cannot face the truth of their own “ethically challenged behavior.” Do you know that I have spent years researching men’s ethically challenged behavior? Why? Empathy. A desire to understand why some insist on destroying themselves. To understand the nature of male/female relationships. To try and grasp the nature of the world around me. Can you even imagine trying to do that without ever bothering to understand and empathize with the other gender’s “ethical challenges?” Half the human race?? That’s so narcissistic it’s enough to make me laugh.

He continues, “In my own estimate Hypergamy isn’t inherently bad or good – it just depends on whether you find yourself on the sharp end of it….”

Complete moral relativism, rather astounding actually. See, I don’t believe hypergamy rules women at all, but suppose I did? In that case, what kind of a sociopath would simply say, “whatever, just as long as I don’t end upon the sharp end of your stick, it’s all good?”

“The problem I see in assigning the blame of women’s behavior to men’s lack of control is that, presently, men have no real control nor does men’s concept of justice align with that of women…”

Ah, and now we get to the heart of the matter, the blame and shame game. Men whether they want it or not, have a very protective nature towards women. Their sense of self-worth really is motivated by a desire for respect from women, respect that often comes from having a sense of honor. What really knocks men off base? Shame. Men have a fascinating and profound relationship with shame. You can hear it hinted at in Tomassi’s words, we have no control, it’s not fair, we can’t possibly be to blame… You can hear it all those derogatory remarks about women frequently found in Tomassi’s comment section, those attempts to make her smaller, more devious, more evil than you perceive yourselves to be. That is how we dehumanize an enemy, how we detach in order to try to justify our own behavior towards them. That is what men do when they are feeling weak and powerless, burdened with all of the responsibility and yet none of the authority or control. Full of shame about what is going on in the world but completely unable to do anything about it.

“On a final note here, whenever I delve into the ethical implications of Red Pill awareness I invariably run into the personal responsibility equation. I do my best to make as coldly rational an observation of dynamics I see and allow my readers to make their own judgements. However, those observation are never intended to excuse the behaviors men and women find themselves prone to acting out.”

Well, that’s something at least. Some kind of awareness that perhaps some people may subjectively receive your words and take them as permission, as justification and validation for what I sometimes refer to as wankerhood, no gender designation intended. All in good humor here, but oh, speak to me of the sins of Adam, about how his words just flow like milk and honey, not my fault Lord, not my fault, see this woman you gave me…..

Speak to me of men and their perceived ability to be rational, the great pride they take in allegedly being so coldly clinical, so detached from human emotion, that the first man actually took it upon himself to try to explain the nature of sin to God Himself. Quite sweetly even, so rationally, so logically….and so totally full of coconut candy that he found himself tossed out into the wilderness, too.

Anything, anything at all to try to avoid that awful shame, that sense of responsibility, that deep seated fear that just knows within itself, to whom much is given, much is expected…

Tomassi concludes with,“So are men to blame for the conditions they find their women in? Are we our sisters’ keepers, hamstrung by our own culpability to actually help them be better women? Or do they bear the responsibility to conform to our perspective of justice and police the worst impulses of a Hypergamy most are only peripherally aware of?”

Again, that blame/shame dichotomy I write so much about. What an evident and powerful example of that desire to claim no agency, no responsibility, and yet to reap the rewards, the fruits of having done so. That really is the human condition, something both men and women always struggle with, we tend to want all of the authority, all of the power, all of the control, and yet none of the blame. The buck stops here, what a quaint and outdated idea.

Ironically, the “hypergamy” women are expected to police is not really our own, but actually men’s! Men off running wild with it about the ‘sphere and saying, “meh, not my problem, I ain’t my sister’s keeper.”

Tomassi asks the wrong question because he is trapped in that pride/shame dichotomy, the one devoid of love, the fear based response that first demands to know, just who’s fault this all going to be? Who is to blame?

Like it or not you cannot have it both ways, that is a deception. If you wish to claim your own genuine power and authority, to step fully into those shoes, then you will embrace your own responsibility. The question should not be whether or not women have any personal agency, but whether or not you do. If you chose no, then you will forever be “hamstrung by your own culpability.”

Another name for “hamstrung by your own culpability,” is trapped in your own shame. It needn’t be that way. There is a much  better way of being in the world. Now, I may well have a very romantic and idealistic expectation of men, but that is neither a delusion nor a fantasy, it is based on truth and the example set by so many men who rise to the challenge, who actually perceive themselves precisely as I do.

I am my brother’s keeper, rather shamelessly not “hamstrung by my own culpability.” That is what it means to walk fully in faith and love.

Things I Wish I'd Known as a New Wife

1. Men and women are different and do not speak the same language. 

There’s an old joke in our house, once while I was cleaning the oven my husband got frustrated with me and said “I don’t care about the oven, all I need is bacon, sex, and the remote control!” It’s a funny memory because he was totally serious, but my brain at the time could not conceive of anyone having such simple needs. I honestly believed he should be pleased with my oven cleaning efforts. Why? Because I would be pleased if someone cleaned my oven! But men are not us, men tend to value different things.

2.Men and women perceive love differently. 

 It’s a terrible injustice but what men tend to need in a marriage is respect, encouragement, and sex. All I really need is provision, protection, guidance, wisdom, someone to address my emotional life, identify my needs, build intimacy, establish trust, create loyalty, provide romance, encourage, nurture, support…..are your eyes glazed over yet? Oh, and also I am insane, so in my case those issues are going to be a bit more complex.

All in good humor here, but those needs of mine seem perfectly reasonable to me. That is how I relate to other people, that is how I express love. That is often how women relate to each other. Should be a piece of cake, we do it all the time. This is a perfectly normal way of being in the world! Men however, are not women and it is not reasonable or fair to expect them to be. Men have their own way of loving women and it is really rather sweet, but we have to give them room to express it.

Good husbands often get to know their wives very well and will grow into being able to meet many of those needs, over time. Just as I learned that cleaning the oven was not an effective way of earning my husband’s favor, men too adapt and learn how to respond to their wives. My husband now knows me better than I know myself.

3. Men really need to feel respect to feel love. 

To this day, nearly 3 decades into marriage, this one still throws me sometimes. It is simply not my world so sometimes I forget, but it is genuinely important for men to feel respected by their wives. It is so easy to make a glib joke or an off hand remark and hurt them. It is so easy to unconsciously undermine them. Men need to know that they have great value and worth in our eyes and we have to show them. How we perceive husbands means everything to them. To not have a woman’s respect is actually painful.

4. Men have to teach their wives. 

That’s probably politically incorrect to say in a world that seems to want to resist all implications of authority, but how else are wives to know what husbands need and want? We are not mind readers either (although we are better at the mind reading than you are.)

Consider this young man I know wryly telling me recently how his wife looks at him with such disgust in her eyes when he comes home from work. He’s now avoiding her, he’s becoming unhappy, there is tension there. So has he talked to her? No! Well sorry, but you’re going to  have to actually talk to your wife! I honestly have no idea what is going on there, maybe he is tracking mud in the house, maybe her face is just frozen that way, or maybe she’s trying to get a reaction out of you. Regardless, ignoring it won’t make it go away and she may well be twice as frustrated as you are simply because you are completely ignoring her. Do  not try to live that way, speak up.

Hubby and I are quite playful these days and know each other well, but there have been many times he’s had to speak up because I had no idea I was doing something to offend him. A few times I knew perfectly well and just didn’t care. Turns out he doesn’t like that either.

4. Contempt is the enemy. 

 There are some studies coming out now that seem to verify that precise thing, that the leading cause of divorce is actually contempt. I see that reflected in the world around me, too. Contempt can be a sneaky bugger, women especially can slide into it, because it’s a tool we have, it’s the opposite of respect and it has the power to wound. Also, our culture currently promotes a great deal of contempt towards men, almost as a way of life. Contempt however, kills love, on both sides of the equation. Men do not feel respected and women do not feel safe.

One thing I did get right, I knew to put my relationship with Christ first. There is a hierarchy there and Christ is always at the top. When people get that wrong, we can start to put unrealistic expectations on our spouses, start to believe that they should be able to fulfill us and meet all our needs in a way that really only God can. Marriage really can be the most amazing tango and spouses can become very near and dear to us, but we love from an overflow, not a deficit.

                              

“Never Hide Behind the Fact That You are A Girl,”

“Never Hide Behind the Fact That You are A Girl,” -Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman

Jane Seymour is really starting to get on my nerves. There I was loading the dishwasher when I was interrupted by her words coming out of the TV. Naturally, like all celebrities she is wagging her finger and delivering these little social justice lectures, also known as public awareness campaigns. What makes celebrities experts on everything, anyway?

So, all decked out in her hoop skirts and long hair, daintily holding her little medical bag, she announces, “never hide behind the fact that you are a girl.”

Say what?? First of all, who’s hiding?? Come on Jane, get with the times here, like perhaps a hundred years into the future. With the NSA, drones, and now wifi barbie, nobody is hiding anywhere. Ever again. If Elf on the Shelf isn’t watching you, that little camera on your laptop can be activated by any unemployed basement dweller with half a brain. There are tracking devices on our license plates, our money, our cell phones.  Besides Jane, my TV was made in China and the little green light glows even when the thing is off. I assume the entire Chinese government is probably spying on me.

Second of all, even in hip waders it’s hard to hide the fact that I am a girl. Not that I would ever want to, but there are just some things you cannot hide, if you know what I mean.

Seriously though, “never hide behind the fact that you are a girl?” Like, “Hey Batman, take a hike, I fight my own battles!” How about, “Oooh, it’s dark and scary down there and I see spiders. Move over dude, I’m going first!” Or perhaps, “Someone dropped their ring down the drain, get out-of-the-way let me show you how to wade through toxic waste like a girl!”

Sorry Jane, this just isn’t working for me. I’m not liking this idea at all. I don’t know how you do things in your world, but in mine we kind of appreciate being able to play the girl card.

There are these raccoons I throw pine cones at to try to chase away from the garbage cans. They throw them right back at me. Have you ever heard a racoon growl, Jane? It’s a cross between a cat and a bear, the stuff of nightmares. I understand why men used to make them into hats. I AM a girl, Jane, and raccoons are not only smart, they have three-inch claws and big teeth. And rabies sometimes. I won’t come out so well in hand to hand combat with a raccoon.

It may be somewhat pathetic, but if there’s a garden snake sunning on the front porch, I’m going to need someone to handle it on account of the fact that I can no longer get into my house. Or into my yard. Actually if he’s still there, I’m hesitant to drive down my street without all the car doors locked…The same goes for dead rats in the driveway. Backed up drains. Groceries that are too heavy…anything mechanical…changing the oil on the car…chasing the prowlers away…screws with square heads…finding the stud in the wall…taking the garbage to the dump…fixing the dishwasher…getting the tree off the house….

What in the heck do you think the corset, hoop skirts, and long hair were for Jane?? Hunting? Fighting Indians? Tackling raccoons?

Listen Up, Red Pills

You take the red pill: you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” – Morpheus, The Matrix

For those who don’t know, the Red Pills are those who fancy themselves having falling down the rabbit hole and managed to nibble off the correct mushroom, now bravely going about the business of perceiving the world as it really is, rather than as they want it to be. They and only they, have the intestinal fortitude to face the truth no matter how harsh and gritty it can be. Everyone else is still existing in a blue pill world of illusion.

A lot of men find this idea appealing, a lot of Christian men, and a handful of women. Some Red Pill women are, well….let me just say that you do not ever want to have to visit the female psyche in all it’s raging psychosis. It can be downright dark and scary there. I’ve met her several times. Trust me, she’s not for the faint of heart.

It’s not all bad. Some Red Pills may in fact have the wisdom to take what is useful and leave the rest behind. Some may actually have some powers of discernment. I pray this is true, but I do tend to get my mushrooms all confused, which is very bad thing indeed and can lead to blue pill delusions if you’re lucky, death if you aren’t.

Red Pills mostly focus on men, often relationships between men and women. They’ve picked up some nuggets of wisdom here and there, but their ability to come so close to the truth and then just go plunging into the abyss is really quite astounding. The cheese done slid off the cracker in many cases.

One frequent problem is that they often seem to confuse love and loyalty with Stockholm syndrome. For those who don’t know, Stockholm syndrome is when your psyche breaks and you start to empathize with your captors as a matter of survival. Crazy, I know, but when you think you have to crush somebody’s psyche to make them love you, you got issues.

Another problem they often have is they seem to forget that women are actually real people. This may well be because so many of them don’t seem to interact with women very often. So they become very male focused and their ideal for relationships seems to involve a matrimonial trinity of me, myself, and I.

So this “harsh gritty truth” they so bravely face often involves the idea that women can never really love them as they desire to be loved, that women are mindless victims of our own hypergamy, that we are incapable of loyalty and empathy, and that men must always remain in complete control at all times so as to never risk anything akin to sacrifice or vulnerability.

It’s just the same old standard and incredibly boring forms of emotional abuse, repackaged as some sort of great Red Pill truth. It is the process of dehumanizing women and emotionally detaching yourself so you can then justify your own ego and indifference.

There are many people in the internet working very hard to speak out against feminism, to speak in favor of marriage, to promote Christian values, to heal and nurture gender relationships. This can be extremely difficult when you have other people roaming around, promoting the exact opposite.

I have a Red Pill truth for you all and it is a tough one. Love actually requires risk, vulnerability, humility, and sacrifice, and it is often painful. Yes, it will cost you. The opposite of love is indifference, control, and dehumanizing the object of your alleged affection.

At the very least what so many of you are advocating is the avoidance of intimacy and the emotional abandonment of women and wives, ironically the most cited cause of divorce in this country. Some try to dismiss that as if women are just destroying marriages right and left on nothing but a whim. It is not a whim however, it stems from being emotionally abandoned by men who fail to understand the need to create that connection. That connection IS the whole point of marriage.

Gender Fears

Men and women really are different obviously, and that’s a delightful thing. It baffles me why anyone would seek to make us the same. We tend to try to do that all over our culture right now. Recently I’ve been observing this happen to our superheros, we must have a female Thor, so Thor has a sex change. The Green Lantern must be made female, why do we not have a female Green Lantern?? Dr. Watson in Sherlock Holmes must be portrayed by a female, and on and on the narrative goes, the rewriting of cultural memes and the transformation of our icons past.

This is actually kind of lazy and a bit demeaning to women, coming under the guise of feminism or not. I mean seriously, the world needs more superheroes, not recycled ones from long ago, freshly given a new politically correct persona. Not only does that deprive us of new and creative female superheros, it’s boring as heck because it’s been so overdone.

From observing people and reading literature, I’ve come to conclude that what men fear the most is being rendered insignificant. To be edited out of the equation by women and tossed aside in favor of something more appealing. That makes perfect sense within the context of biology and culture, because the role of men and their place in society, in the family, has been getting rewritten for the past 50-60 years. Biologically speaking, that fear of being erased, rendered insignificant, would be innate. It’s cruel and cold and clinical but so much of men’s value in to the biological equation has revolved around their expendability. Men have literally been called to die protecting women, families, children, for centuries.

Personally I don’t want anyone to have to die for me, but this little bit of truth is a good one to be aware of, because women really are called to pour some honor into men, to value them, to let them know they are significant, that they do matter. Not just in the context of husbands and wives, but all over our culture. Men will die for you. We see this all the time in first responders, in our military, in men protecting families, in health issues and early heart attacks from working too hard. There are some real yahoos out there and women sometimes lose their lives protecting others too, but in general, it is men who more frequently lay down their lives. What’s fair, what’s equal, is to let them know their sacrifices are not insignificant. They matter. They are not invisible to us.

What women tend to fear the most is being feared by men. That is an odd one, but it begins to make sense if you consider that fearful men often pose the most danger to women. What you fear, you are driven to control and destroy. Instinctively women know this and most  tend to steer clear of fearful men. Also, when men are scared of us, so much for their ability to protect and provide. If little old me scares you, you won’t be of much use when a saber tooth tiger shows up.

There is a lot of criticism and confusion over women as thug chasers, men who don’t understand why women sometimes pass over nice guys in favor of felons. Because women get broken too! Because the best way to feel better about your own issues is to seek a man more messed up than you are, and because thugs generally appear not to fear women. Heck they don’t even fear social norms. Often dumber than a box of rocks, but no fear. No fear is attractive.

Women also often feel compelled to “fix” broken men and in a healthy context, this is a good thing. Women are designed to bring out men’s better nature, their higher selves. Some men don’t have a better nature, but hey, biology marches right along anyway.

Biology matters. Working within the framework of who we are as people creates a lot more harmony and joy in the world. This little dynamic with our superheros and icons past is really an odd one. It plays into men’s fear of being erased, of being rendered insignificant, and puts women in the position of now being scary. So men fear you, now what? What’s the next chapter in this story??

It is angst and longing and loneliness. Someday our female Thor will get tired of punching men in the face and realize that what she truly desires deep within herself is intimacy with her enemy, but by then it will be too late, because she will have annihilated them all.

Balls of Wire and Little Boxes

There’s a guy, Mark Gungor, who gives a delightful presentation about the difference between men and women’s brains. He says men’s brains are like little boxes that must never, ever touch each other. Ever. Every thought is processed and carefully placed in it’s own little box. Women’s brains however, are like electrified balls of wire, each bit of data zinging around to see how it is related to other bits of data. Every thought has a relationship to another and like an internet search engine, it pings around constantly looking for connections.

If you’ve ever been in a room full of women, we can congruently talk about a variety of seemingly unrelated issues, zapping each other with little sparks of imagination, almost like bug lights on a porch. A group of women who really know each other can practically speak their own language. Shoes-meatballs-Putin-PigLatin-4thGrade, yes, I so completely understand what you’re saying. What incredible insights you have! 

If you are a woman, a fairly intelligent and emotional one, you have the power to walk into a room and completely flatten men’s brains. You can crash the whole system, over whelm them with data, and watch those little boxes go poof. If you’re really good at it, you can set those boxes on fire. Fortunately men can recover from this fairly quickly, by backing up slowly and rebooting their brains. Otherwise we’d leave a bunch of collateral damage laying around, with puffs of blue smoke coming out of their ears, like I did to my last two hard drives.

Flattening man-brains is actually bad manners and should be avoided as much as possible. In retaliation, men often try to poke their finger in our brains to see if they can short out the system. This is also not nice and should be avoided, no matter how much you enjoy it. Men can short out our brains but it’s temporary and once we come back online, we will zap you. Remember the 1944 movie Gaslight? The bad guy completely shorted out her brain and convinced her she was crazy. When she was able to reboot her brain, she tied him to a chair and those little neurons pinged from crazy to…not guilty by 

reason of insanity. Be afraid, be very afraid, this is precisely how women’s brains work.

 

I jest here, because for the most part, the differences between men and women’s brains is one of the most delightful things ever. There is much complaint regarding the word subdue. People tend to think it means to suppress, dominate, control. In some contexts it does, but in this context it has a different meaning. It’s actually a very gentle word that means to calm, to sooth, to soften.  The roots of the word subdue go way back, but in old French, it’s taken from suduire, to seduce. Gender is not just biology, it is energy. It is the way we process data and how we perceive the world. It is how our brains operate, not in a hierarchy of superior/inferior, but simply different and complimentary, and quite magical. Men have the ability to sooth, to soften, to quiet women’s brains.

When men walk into a room full of women, I have a feeling most men have no idea how aware women are of their presence. We may appear to completely ignore them, but men are never invisible to us. Never. A dozen little antenna pop up and start processing the data. “Something is different here, the energy in the room has changed, one of these things is not like the other. What is he doing? Is he…compartmentalizing data? How odd!” Women are like natural born scientists, constantly doing research, testing, experimenting, quietly observing the beast in his natural habitat. It’s our thing. We’re so good at it, most of the time we aren’t even aware of it.

Naturally there are individual variations and gender is not always so rigid. Women are quite capable of reasoning, using logic, being objective, and sometimes we actually compartmentalize information. Men are also capable of making connections, relating one piece of seemingly unrelated data to another. The truth however, is that for the most part, we don’t really like to. I don’t care how many lies the world tries to tell us, we are simply different. When we deny our own natures, we’re actually rejecting ourselves, sacrificing the very best of our own essence.

Now for the bad news. Men have something women don’t. They have a box, their favorite box. It’s called the empty box. It’s their happy place, the box they go into when they’re hunting TV channels with the remote, blissfully unaware that women even exist. Women have no such box, we’re never satisfied, never finished. Our happy place is when the energy flows effortlessly through that ball of wire and meets no resistance. In the comedic tragedy of it all, a few moments of that and we start to get uncomfortable, distressed. Our happy place does not really exist internally, we experience it vicariously through men. Oh, we could live without them in the world for a while, but eventually we’d short ourselves out and self destruct. Never being able to rest in your happy place is a bit like going without sleep. It can be done, but eventually you’ll break and start seeing rats.

Men and women live in a type of symbiotic relationship that expands far beyond reproduction. We are like mirrors looking back at each other. One of my favorite sci/fi guys once did a post about “Women as Parasite” that made me think of intestinal worms. Do it again dude and I will flatten your boxes, set them on fire, and sweep the ashes out the door. He wasn’t entirely wrong however, women are a bit like orchids clinging to a decaying log. There is beauty and life in the symbiosis of that relationship. Separate the two and there is nothing but death and decay, pointless decomposition that nourishes nothingness.

Gender is not a social construct people, it is our energy and our essence, and it is hardwired into the system.