Gender Fears

Men and women really are different obviously, and that’s a delightful thing. It baffles me why anyone would seek to make us the same. We tend to try to do that all over our culture right now. Recently I’ve been observing this happen to our superheros, we must have a female Thor, so Thor has a sex change. The Green Lantern must be made female, why do we not have a female Green Lantern?? Dr. Watson in Sherlock Holmes must be portrayed by a female, and on and on the narrative goes, the rewriting of cultural memes and the transformation of our icons past.

This is actually kind of lazy and a bit demeaning to women, coming under the guise of feminism or not. I mean seriously, the world needs more superheroes, not recycled ones from long ago, freshly given a new politically correct persona. Not only does that deprive us of new and creative female superheros, it’s boring as heck because it’s been so overdone.

From observing people and reading literature, I’ve come to conclude that what men fear the most is being rendered insignificant. To be edited out of the equation by women and tossed aside in favor of something more appealing. That makes perfect sense within the context of biology and culture, because the role of men and their place in society, in the family, has been getting rewritten for the past 50-60 years. Biologically speaking, that fear of being erased, rendered insignificant, would be innate. It’s cruel and cold and clinical but so much of men’s value in to the biological equation has revolved around their expendability. Men have literally been called to die protecting women, families, children, for centuries.

Personally I don’t want anyone to have to die for me, but this little bit of truth is a good one to be aware of, because women really are called to pour some honor into men, to value them, to let them know they are significant, that they do matter. Not just in the context of husbands and wives, but all over our culture. Men will die for you. We see this all the time in first responders, in our military, in men protecting families, in health issues and early heart attacks from working too hard. There are some real yahoos out there and women sometimes lose their lives protecting others too, but in general, it is men who more frequently lay down their lives. What’s fair, what’s equal, is to let them know their sacrifices are not insignificant. They matter. They are not invisible to us.

What women tend to fear the most is being feared by men. That is an odd one, but it begins to make sense if you consider that fearful men often pose the most danger to women. What you fear, you are driven to control and destroy. Instinctively women know this and most  tend to steer clear of fearful men. Also, when men are scared of us, so much for their ability to protect and provide. If little old me scares you, you won’t be of much use when a saber tooth tiger shows up.

There is a lot of criticism and confusion over women as thug chasers, men who don’t understand why women sometimes pass over nice guys in favor of felons. Because women get broken too! Because the best way to feel better about your own issues is to seek a man more messed up than you are, and because thugs generally appear not to fear women. Heck they don’t even fear social norms. Often dumber than a box of rocks, but no fear. No fear is attractive.

Women also often feel compelled to “fix” broken men and in a healthy context, this is a good thing. Women are designed to bring out men’s better nature, their higher selves. Some men don’t have a better nature, but hey, biology marches right along anyway.

Biology matters. Working within the framework of who we are as people creates a lot more harmony and joy in the world. This little dynamic with our superheros and icons past is really an odd one. It plays into men’s fear of being erased, of being rendered insignificant, and puts women in the position of now being scary. So men fear you, now what? What’s the next chapter in this story??

It is angst and longing and loneliness. Someday our female Thor will get tired of punching men in the face and realize that what she truly desires deep within herself is intimacy with her enemy, but by then it will be too late, because she will have annihilated them all.