Friday, January 1, 2016

Somebody Make Tomassi Some soup...

Seriously, the poor man is now building an entire philosophy around the fact that when men get sick they cannot get women to make them soup! All Women Are Like That, too.  AWALT alert! Obviously this is blatant evidence of  hypergamy in action and  how the Feminine Imperative has now taken over the world….

Reminds of of that Seinfeld episode, no soup for you! Dang soup Nazi’s.

You all should  be proud of me, I made it darn near 14 hours with no sarcasm or satire, but the Infamous Tomassi Soup Lament is just too much to resist.

He says, “No doubt the Jezebel set of the femosphere will either embrace the commercial’s message by parroting the trope that women hate to be men’s mothers, or they will decry it as portraying women as being heartless, careerist bi&%es – they just can’t win.”

Sadly no. No, what will happen is absolutely nothing. As in, not even Jezebel is going to care about Tomassi’s soup issues. Alas, sad but true. I care however, as in it made me laugh. Snorted coffee out my nose actually.

You can reverse the genders, but I’d probably still laugh.

Men going off to work and failing to stay home and make us soup when we’re sick is called…life. That’s what makes the commercial funny, Tomassi, it reverses gender roles. Yes, this great offense, this huge insult, where a man is forced to zap his own can of soup in the microwave…. is  just called daily life for most wives and moms. So routine, so mundane, we think nothing of it.

Now a man that actually makes your soup, that is so unusual and noteworthy one simply must assume that’s true love in action….

Of empathy, Tomassi says, “Women cannot bear to see a Man experiencing negative emotions such as extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, despondency or depression for extended periods of time…”
Well, not the ones we like anyway. The others that aren’t very nice to us? Well, heck I’ll make some popcorn……Let’s get this fear and despondency thing going on…..

Ruthless, I believe he called us. Darn women are all ruthless.

He goes on to speak of vulnerability and women’s lack of attraction, lack of empathy…..lack of providing  a steaming, hot bowl of soup…

“Yes ladies, I understand you’re not like this. I fully anticipate the “not in my experience” personalization each of you will attempt to adopt to placate any bad juju and your solipsistic mental point of origin.”

I’m attempting to concoct a proper “solipsistic mental place of origin” so as to “placate any bad juju” that might come my way.

Wait, juju??! As in a spell designed to create compliance? Like witchcraft? Like…..gaming foolish young women, taking advantage of their sexual inclinations, psychologically exploiting them into believing they are in love with you, deceiving them into having sex with you? Counting coup? Is not juju the entire nature of the red pill beast?

How about relentlessly bullying young men, calling them beta schmucks, labeling them gammas, applying assorted cultian tactics to control them, falsely leading them to believe there might be some kind of biblical backing for this sort of thing? Telling them that if they don’t swallow the red pill they’ll forever be trapped in the matrix? Convincing them that women hate them, have no souls,  and are only ruled by our superficial biological impulses?

That kind of juju? Red pill juju designed to force compliance?

Ai yi yi…

Tomassi continues, “Just remember that this is the messaging your gender’s imperative is fostering.”

Actually I was thinking more along the lines of baking you a batch of  brownies heavily laced with horse laxatives, but maybe that’s just me….