"Dear future husband"

I’m laughing here, but this popular song is just all wrong for numerous reasons. Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor. Okay, so it’s just a song, but songs influence culture and this one just begs some commentary.

The very first verse is problematic

Dear future husband,
Here’s a few things
You’ll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

Right off the bat she’s got expectations, more like demands, and you better hope you figure out how to live up to them. The implication is that if you fail, you won’t be her one and only for life, she’ll dump you like a hot potato.

So many people go into marriage with a list of expectations, demands really, about what they expect from a spouse. This is true of some men too, especially some of those red pills. Not unlike Meghan Trainor, it is all about them, what they’re going to get, how she better act, how she better treat them. It’s charming….NOT, it makes me want to throw up on my shoes.

Trying to place myself in the shoes of Meghan Trainor future husband also made me want to throw up a little, I deserve a break, And don’t forget the flowers…don’t be thinking I’ll be home and baking apple pies, I never learned to cook…After every fight
Just apologize, Even if I was wrong, You know I’m never wrong

Uh yeah, and what does a future husband get out of this deal? The right to experience Meghan’s existence in all her glorious Me-ness? It’s a recipe for disaster. No man can live up to those expectations, nor would you really want him too. She’s going to break her own heart.

Where is my own worth and value in this future equation? Meghan’s song is kind of funny, it implies she thinks highly of herself, but it is really just a laundry list of things she cannot do. Can’t cook, can’t ever be wrong, can’t live with out flowers, can’t live without constant praise.

Somebody gave me really good marriage advice once, don’t ask yourself if a spouse is going to make you happy, ask yourself if you can make them happy. It’s a humbling question, do I have what it takes to be worthy of this other person? Am I capable of making their life better? What am I bringing to the table?

Often we don’t like to think about those things, but that’s also where our power lies. The one thing you can truly control is your own self.

All in good humor here, but Meghan Trainor’s future husband should run for his life. Run Forest, run, and don’t look back.